31 Jan 2011

Someone to throw those petals

One of the things we weren't going to have was a flower girl - or three. However, I could reconsider if we had a flower guy.


Via Offbeat Bride.

30 Jan 2011

Things we do without

What we're not having:
  • bridal shower
  • hen's night
  • bachelor party
  • rehearsal dinner
  • table planning
  • favours
  • bridesmaids
  • programs
  • photographer
  • corsages
  • wedding rings
  • guest book
  • aisle runner
  • flower girls
  • security
  • caterer
  • swanky plates/cutlery/glasses/tablecloth/chairs...
  • valet parking
  • throw away bouquets
  • reception dress
  • reply cards
  • place cards
  • white dress
  • suit
  • grooms men
  • open bar
  • special underwear
  • dj
There are probably more things but these are the ones I can think of right now. Lots of money in that list.

29 Jan 2011

Snow blind

After a while all those wedding blogs tend to blend in to each other in a maze of white strapless gowns and overworked décor. Finding those gems that are different is hard work.

25 Jan 2011

Dress

So I've been thinking. 50's? 60's? Sort of? Freestyle crochet? Possibly. Sunflower yellow and dark blue. That's a winner though I am hesitant to use blue and yellow since it's our flag's colours. I don't want people to think of our flag when looking at me. Sunflower yellow and cerise? Now that's a glowing combination! And I could make a visible tulle petticoat in yellow with dark blue satin trimming to go with that. Or it could all be too much. Inspiration pictures:

Photobucket

I'm not wearing white. Why? There are several reasons for that.
  • I've been married before
  • I don't really like white on myself
  • I want to have fun in this dress and wearing it on other occasions
  • We're offbeat in so many other ways that I don't feel like dressing traditionally
White is really a rather new thing. Just wearing something nice looking was the way to do it for a very long time until European nobility decided white was the thing - and that had a lot to do with the 19th century screwed up ideas about female sexuality. White has for a very long time been the virgin colour. Well, I'm not a virgin.

23 Jan 2011

Doing the hoopla for the right reasons

Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm doing this for the right reasons. Originally when we decided we were "it" for each other we were thinking about getting married the two of us. Have a very special day just for us. Then eventually, we'd throw a party celebrating this. That was in March 2007.

In December 2007 I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease. I was so sick all I did was sleep and shatter my teeth for two months. During that period my Darling found out that that lump everyone had thought was a cartilage lump due to some heavy blow, was in fact a cancerous tumour. 2008 didn't have a good start. All thoughts of getting married went out the window.

We have since the battled our diseases. Darling is pronounced healthy again and I'm finally doing well enough to think about such things, but it took us a few years to get here. Since especially I still have issues with health I decided that we perhaps should have a wedding and a party together. I'd love to have a "just us" moment, but the thing is that we might never get around to having the party if we do that. We have so much to celebrate. Life, the fact that we managed to somehow have a child despite the odds and our love. I'd like to think those are good reasons to involve friends and family in the wedding itself, not just for a party.

I still think about the idea to marry beforehand and just have the announcement and party on that day. On the other hand, I'm really trying to keep this simple and down to earth so I'll survive something like this.

I think I'm going to tell him I love him right now.

The postcard above is of the neighbouring town where I grew up.

20 Jan 2011

Invitation angst

Sometimes hanging out on Offbeat Bride can cause you to have a complete frustration meltdown on ideas. I had this idea for wedding invites that I'd make Polaroid-like invitations. Well, then I stumbled over this invitation... No, it's too expensive and too complicated but it got me thinking. Maybe I should reconsider? Do something completely different?

Good thing it's still 3 months until deadline.

And now I have changed my mind again. The Polaroid idea is perfect. I've got the kraft paper bags it will be sent out in already and I think it's a good way to tie it in to the website design and the feel of this event.

BTW, I'm really falling in love with this heart.

18 Jan 2011

No metal

My Darling don't like jewellery. He's also got a job where it's potentially dangerous to wear rings, so there will be no wedding bands for us. This doesn't mean we've not been thinking about alternatives. The next obvious thing is of course getting a tattoo. I have been thinking about this the past 20 years but it's never been a priority to get one so I have put it off many times. Darling however, has gone under the needle.

This could actually become the one thing we're going to debate for a very long time, even after the wedding, because we don't have quite the same taste. The easy solution could be to have one original idea but execute them differently. We'll see if we can agree on something.

The one thing I don't want is a tattoo instead of a ring. I want it to shine in its own right, not be a substitute for a ring.

17 Jan 2011

Ceremony

We're having a secular ceremony. The formality takes but 20 seconds but it can of course be extended with elements we choose. We've not come that far yet though.

It'll be held in a nearby field. The surroundings aren't that fancy; a field, a wall of spruce trees behind a low dry stone wall. Had my parents not cut down the huge beech tree in the garden that would have been the obvious place to hold the ceremony, but it's gone, and the views over the road isn't that exiting. I prefer spruce trees.

Again it's simple, birch brushwood will provide the frame on which I'll hang frames in various sizes. Such can be found in the local thrift shop for a modest price. Some jars and some cans with wild flowers and long strips of fabric as some sort of very simple bunting will accompany the frames. As the focal point a small worn table will be perfect. I'll think of some simple decoration around that table eventually.

As seating we'll use some of the plank benches from the barn and some blankets and cushions. Hopefully we'll have family members playing some music.


That's it. And I have decided that we'll have sunshine. Period.

16 Jan 2011

I see the light

Light is a lot more complicated than one might think. I like the idea of simple multicoloured party lights, but there are of course options. You can create pretty DIY lights from mason jars and a piece of plank. It's a good solution if you're at place where it's difficult to have electric lightning.

For simple party mood light you can always use cans. Fill them with water, put them in the freezer and use a nail and hammer to create patterns. Add on some thin metal wire loop that will make it possible to hang them. The really simple thing is to hang mason jars in wire.

In our case electricity is no problem so we could go for the classic multicoloured party lights. Or we could get 12 IKEA lamps and make a large one. That will certainly give light enough, maybe too much I'm afraid.


But then again, maybe not. It's a huge space under the ceiling in this barn. It's a fun idea anyway. If you're interested you can find the PDF-file and instructions here. Check out the Flickr photostream too.

14 Jan 2011

Plates

So renting plates is actually rather expensive and you've got to pick them up and return them. If you add what you spend on driving those 75 miles we'd have to drive back and forth it's definitely a no no.

We're having a bean stew which needs a bowl of come sort and something that will hold the add ons. It can't be large. I think it's better to have people rise and go for seconds (and thirds) and be able to mingle and stay and talk to other guests. After checking just how much various kinds of bowls actually holds I made the startling discovery that my toddler's colourful plastic bowls from IKEA holds the same volume as my fancy stoneware bowls. They look bigger but they don't hold more.

After that discovery I went on an excursion to try and find something plate-like. In one of the cheap warehouse stores in town I found the perfect item. Add the bowl and you get something like this:

Easy to carry around and you don't have to worry about dropping things. It doesn't look large when you hold it in your hands, but the look is deceiving because this solution holds just as much as a traditional bowl on a traditional plate would. However, you couldn't mingle with that. You can with this solution.

12 Jan 2011

Hair issues


I have dreads. So do my Darling. We're a dreads family. I love them but when it comes to party hair it's not that fun. People mostly shrug and tell you to wear a wrap. However, I wear wraps enough in my every day life and I just want to do something a bit different.

I was dead set on simple, simple, simple, and then I stumbled on the birdcage veil above. Peacock feathers! Black! Over the top! I like the feathers with the veil but I would like the veil to be smaller and not sporting that bow thing going on to the right. I know where to get hold of peacock feathers (and other feathers) but the veil material is more difficult. I can get hold of silver and gold. I can of course get some and try to change colour using a marker pen. It's the only thing I think I could use that would actually stick to the synthetic material it's made of. It's worth a try at least.

The veil on the picture is from Castle Bride Couture.

10 Jan 2011

Clothes

You've got to wear them. I have been glancing at dresses and pant-suits since we decided we should marry (back in 2007) and it's almost a shock that it's finally the real thing. I need to decide on something!

I decided from the start that I don't want to wear white. I have been married before and done the white wedding/restaurant reception thing (and I learned a lot from being there myself compared to only taking care of the reception, something I have done plenty when I was a restaurant manager). But what colour should I choose? Good question.

Then we come to what it should look like. I'm a practical person when it comes to clothes and even fancy dresses can be comfortable. I don't understand the ceremony dress and reception dress thing. This is just another expense not needed. If you can't have fun in the dress of your choice it's the wrong dress IMO.

I have discarded the idea of a pant suit. It's tricky to get them to fit well so I'll stick to a dress. Knee-length with width because it's fun. Short sleeves and a neckline that aren't too high nor too low. I want a tulle petticoat in a contrasting colour sticking out below the hem. Cute, practical and a dress you can wear all day and have fun in it. No silk, some easy material that can be washed easily. A dress I can wear again. That's the dress I want. Now I only need to design it. Because of course, the DIY queen will make it herself.

My Darling is not as difficult as I am. He refuses fancy clothes point blank, but last year we got him canvas frontier trousers with suspenders for wedding. With a woodcutter shirt the outfit would be perfect.

These are the trousers in question. I love the strap in the back! You can get them here (US) here (UK) and here (Sweden).

9 Jan 2011

Web page

Do you need one? Maybe not, but I think it's practical. By having a web page you don't need to include e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g in the snail mail invitation. I prefer to keep that one short, to the point and lightweight.

Now, since I'm the DIY queen I of course DIY'ed the web page. I have a site address already so I just created a sub page address and set to work. It's not as fancy as it sounds. I used a template and tweaked in Dreamweaver. You don't need Dreamweaver to make your own web page, but you will have to be familiar with using code and how css style sheets work. It's not as complicated as it looks. Changes can be made if you open the documents in wordpad and you can have a look at what happens when you change things by opening it in a browser window. Any information you need on how to do this is available on the net so just Google away. End of mini crash course.

Back to our web page. I think it's fun doing this so I had a go at it during 5 days. Code is the fast part of it all compared to coming up with ideas and finding the right pictures. It was during this process that I started to come up with the invitation design.

I have this free program on the computer called Poladroid which creates Polaroid-like pictures in printable dpi that I used for images on the web page. I have also came across magnets looking like Polaroid frames, and an idea dawned on me. How about printing the invitation on magnetic paper and giving it a Polaroid frame? I think I'll have experiment some.

Click on the image to go to the web page.

The numbers stand for my 40th birthday, Darling's 35th birthday and 5 is the number of years we've been a couple. It all becomes 80. We're actually not telling people straight out that we're getting married but it's not that difficult to figure out. The reason for not spelling it out is that we don't want people to rush out and buy us presents we don't need or start worrying about fancy clothes. This is a very basic event but people get all sorts of silly ideas if you tell them it's a wedding.

7 Jan 2011

Food

Eating is a huge part of any party of this kind. Of course we're self catering. Again, planning is everything. I know that for a proper sit down dinner you need, even if you've got some serious mice en place and simple courses, at least one (1) in a kitchen. Preferably a kitchen with plenty of counter space and a large hot air oven. You also need at least two (2) carrying plates, and this is if they're skilled. Having teens wanting to earn some extra cash and you need four (4) for this to not capsize. It's not going to happen. Sit down dinners also tend to be more formal and stiff, and I'm not having that. So some kind of buffet style kind of food it is.

Many are vegetarians among our friends so to make it easier, having vegetarian with meat add ons for those who wish, is what seems to be the most practical thing to do. Some kind of bean stew as the main attraction is simple and easy to prepare and cook. I think corn cob is tasty (well we all do) and it's that time of the year as well, so we'll have that too. Bread naturally. The meat? I'd really want to try and make corndogs and see if that's ok. It's not exactly fancy food, but neither is a bean stew, so I think they'd compliment each other well. And if anything, those are all southern foods, so we're sticking to the theme here. My main goal is for people to be full when they leave the table and I think they will be with this kind of food.

Cake? Nope. Cupcakes? Never. Too much work and difficult to deal with if we get the typical hot August weather. No, I want rocky road. Plain and simple. Easy to make, easy to keep in the freezer and whip out and let them thaw in a cool place the day before and cut them up and put on trays. This anyone can do. And it is possible to have a topper on a mountain of rocky road too, though I haven't decided if we should have one.


This pretty picture comes from Nigella Lawson's Christmas cookbook and it illustrates just how cute rocky road can be. Though I'd not have deer and spruce trees of course.

6 Jan 2011

Invitations and save the date

This is a tricky thing. In Sweden people usually don't send out Save the Date cards. Wedding invitations go out about 10 to 12 weeks before the event with an RSVP deadline approximately 2 weeks after the guests got the invitation, meaning 8 to 10 weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to chase those who haven't replied and calculate food and drink and everything else you might need to have in place on the big day.

However, if you have friends or family living abroad (and Sweden is large enough to cause travel problems - flying in from Kalix is like flying in from Italy) they might need to know earlier than that. Now, we have people we wish to invite from South Africa and the UK and the Netherlands, so I decided to send out save the date cards. Then I calculated the cost and realised that it really is silly doing it through snail mail. Everyone we know have updated themselves and use the net, so I decided we could make a video and e-mail it to people instead. It's a heads up after all.

It didn't turn out as we planned but I saved it with a bit of humour and a fancy e-mail with the intro image from our website. And the theme is present on this video in a not so subtle way; bluegrass.



I'll deal with the invitations eventually.

5 Jan 2011

Theme

I strongly advice anyone doing a party of any kind to have a theme. Nothing super elaborate but to the point. It's a great help when deciding on food, colours, décor and anything else party related you can think of. It's not meant to be like a theatre or a masquerade and you can make it very subtle. Having a Star Wars theme don't have to mean you've got storm troopers and Darth Vader invited, but you can choose subtle details. The nerds will know and the rest will just have a great time.

Of course we have a theme. This party will be in the Swedish equivalent to the hilly American south and because I'm the DIY queen who is keeping a lock on the wallet, the obvious choice was to steal ideas from the American poor south. The hillbillies. But since it's me I won't be able to not style things (once a designer - always a designer), so it will, whether I like it or not, lean heavily towards vintage. Those two are actually closer than people think. Vintage is the romantic notion of life on the countryside, so it's just a bit more arranged than real life. And the car wrecks are stowed away.

4 Jan 2011

We have a barn

We're blessed with one thing. We come from the countryside and my parents still live on their farm. This cuts a huge cost from the budget because we don't have to fork out money on a venue. We'll have the ceremony on a field and the party in the barn. There are lots of space for people to stay, some in the house but also camp out in one way or the other. This means that it's also free for friends and family to stay.

At the moment I don't have pictures because when we visited the last time, a couple of weeks ago, I forgot my camera. We did get rough measurements though so we could start planning.

It's a classic barn with earth floor and huge double doors. The size we have to play with is 9x11.5 m (10x12.5 yds) which isn't huge but considering we're expecting somewhere in the neighbourhood of 60 guests, that's actually perfect. It will have to be cleared of hay bales, straw and as much dust and web as we can get rid of naturally. Until that work begins, I'll finalise the décor plans.

3 Jan 2011

First post

First posts are never really exiting but I'm welcoming anyone who happens to stumble on this before there are any proper entries.

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