The words

Den dagliga kärleken

Kärlek
men inte den som springer
på glödande fötter
till och ifrån snabba möten
jagad och jagande
sårad och sårande
inte den som lever högt på ständigt
smärtsamma avskedstaganden
utan den kärlek
som ger trygghet och vila
som värmer och värnar
och endast har ett enda avsked att frukta:
dödens

Kärlek
men inte den som knappast hunnit stilla sin längtan
förrän en ny uppstår
inte den hetsigt hetsande
piskad av begärens krav
oftast mer plågsam än ljuvlig
inte heller den ångestfulla kärleken
som är rädd att bli bränd
och samtidigt rädd att inte få brinna
utan den milt flödande kärleken
den som vågar vila
och när tid är
störa den utvilade

Kärlek
som är att vakna tillsammans
och möta den blåögda morgonen
att utbyta leenden som värmer
och värnar om den nya dagens framtid
att på resan genom dagen
vila tillsammans på klockslagens små väntstationer
och intaga gemensamma måltider
upplysta av lingonsyltens röda glädje

De dagliga skavsår vi får och ger
den dubbelsidiga smärtan
som värker inom oss
och som vi övervinner hos varann
den osynliga skyddsängel
som kammar ut irritationernas snår
övermättnaden som hotar med tomhet
men botas genom att var och en
drar sig tillbaka till
ensamhetens nödvändiga oas
rätten att vara frånvarande i var sitt drömland
glädjen at vara närvarande i varandras liv -
detta är kärlek.

/Maria Wine

We have a song!

Darling's kid brother will play the guitar and sing. It was an unexpected choice that I stumbled over when we couldn't think about anything and I was out cruising the net for ideas. It's catchy and happy and fits us really well.

Change of plans

We were at the site where the wedding will take place today. For the fourth time I went up on that field where I thought it would be best to have the ceremony.

The barn is a perfect place to have a party in but there aren't really an ideal place to have the ceremony. The garden had been perfect had the old beech still been standing, but some five years ago my dad cut it down. It was just as well, because it had a rotten core, as most beeches tend to get at old age and they didn't want it to end up on the house.

The field on the other side of the yard opposite the barn was the next place that came to mind. I wasn't very happy with it though. It's vast, and the backdrop isn't stunning, and today when I was out there I kept thinking about that it's a long walk to the best point on the field so the entrance would be very long, plus the fact that people will have to park on the field and also put up their tents there.

I went back to the garden and looked around. It still misses the large tree, but it is well kept by my mum and it has a natural slope and a large lawn. We could put up a backdrop at the lowest point on the lawn to draw attention from the kitchen garden there in the background. Behind the kitchen garden there's a wall of trees so it's all green, which is nice.

This would give us the opportunity to make a good entrance, the people have ample space for the ceremony and the drinks later, and since we have the house on the opposite side of the potential backdrop place in the garden, we can have music without a boom blaster.

So, suddenly it's a garden wedding, not a field ceremony. The backdrop will be different than the one on the field would have been, but at the same time it's more simple.

We'll set up a clothes line, use the table cloths we can find, a small table in front of the backdrop with room for the certificate and some decoration and we're good to go.

Walking down the aisle

We're having a secular ceremony on a field. It's quite open too so you can't really hide when approaching the place where it's supposed to be. It's an awkward and slightly silly situation to have people seated and then having to walk from the farm - alone - while people are looking at you.

There are several solutions. It could be a procession like event when everyone is walking together with music to the ceremony spot. One could also surprise everyone. It's entirely possible to build something that partly obstruct the view and have someone to distract people with some petal throwing and once you're there you blast some music that is dancing friendly from a boom blaster and make your entrance dancing.

The trick is to find the right music.

I love Säkert! and this one would be so right.

Doing the hoopla for the right reasons

Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm doing this for the right reasons. Originally when we decided we were "it" for each other we were thinking about getting married the two of us. Have a very special day just for us. Then eventually, we'd throw a party celebrating this. That was in March 2007.

In December 2007 I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease. I was so sick all I did was sleep and shatter my teeth for two months. During that period my Darling found out that that lump everyone had thought was a cartilage lump due to some heavy blow, was in fact a cancerous tumour. 2008 didn't have a good start. All thoughts of getting married went out the window.

We have since the battled our diseases. Darling is pronounced healthy again and I'm finally doing well enough to think about such things, but it took us a few years to get here. Since especially I still have issues with health I decided that we perhaps should have a wedding and a party together. I'd love to have a "just us" moment, but the thing is that we might never get around to having the party if we do that. We have so much to celebrate. Life, the fact that we managed to somehow have a child despite the odds and our love. I'd like to think those are good reasons to involve friends and family in the wedding itself, not just for a party.

I still think about the idea to marry beforehand and just have the announcement and party on that day. On the other hand, I'm really trying to keep this simple and down to earth so I'll survive something like this.

I think I'm going to tell him I love him right now.

The postcard above is of the neighbouring town where I grew up.

Ceremony

We're having a secular ceremony. The formality takes but 20 seconds but it can of course be extended with elements we choose. We've not come that far yet though.

It'll be held in a nearby field. The surroundings aren't that fancy; a field, a wall of spruce trees behind a low dry stone wall. Had my parents not cut down the huge beech tree in the garden that would have been the obvious place to hold the ceremony, but it's gone, and the views over the road isn't that exiting. I prefer spruce trees.

Again it's simple, birch brushwood will provide the frame on which I'll hang frames in various sizes. Such can be found in the local thrift shop for a modest price. Some jars and some cans with wild flowers and long strips of fabric as some sort of very simple bunting will accompany the frames. As the focal point a small worn table will be perfect. I'll think of some simple decoration around that table eventually.

As seating we'll use some of the plank benches from the barn and some blankets and cushions. Hopefully we'll have family members playing some music.


That's it. And I have decided that we'll have sunshine. Period.