Confession: I love flamboyance

Sometimes when I look through the various weddings out there, I get the urge to do something really flamboyant. Crimson dress, feathered headpiece with LED lights, fire show, circus performance... and it would have been great! It's just that I don't have the money to really splash, and since this is DIY from start to finish, I really need to be practical.

I also know that though all of the above is cool, the most important thing is to have people you care about and love around you and to have fun. In my job as a restaurant manager I learned that what matters is the people. The most interesting wedding we had was at the same time a very awkward affair. In the beginning it was stylish and rather stiff but in the end, when the dance started, the South American guests (her side of the family) decided that they'd had it with the stiffness and the stylishness and it became the party it should have been from the start.

I'm actually quite happy we're doing what we're doing. It's just that I'm awed by what some people have accomplished, that's all.

Doing the hoopla for the right reasons

Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm doing this for the right reasons. Originally when we decided we were "it" for each other we were thinking about getting married the two of us. Have a very special day just for us. Then eventually, we'd throw a party celebrating this. That was in March 2007.

In December 2007 I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease. I was so sick all I did was sleep and shatter my teeth for two months. During that period my Darling found out that that lump everyone had thought was a cartilage lump due to some heavy blow, was in fact a cancerous tumour. 2008 didn't have a good start. All thoughts of getting married went out the window.

We have since the battled our diseases. Darling is pronounced healthy again and I'm finally doing well enough to think about such things, but it took us a few years to get here. Since especially I still have issues with health I decided that we perhaps should have a wedding and a party together. I'd love to have a "just us" moment, but the thing is that we might never get around to having the party if we do that. We have so much to celebrate. Life, the fact that we managed to somehow have a child despite the odds and our love. I'd like to think those are good reasons to involve friends and family in the wedding itself, not just for a party.

I still think about the idea to marry beforehand and just have the announcement and party on that day. On the other hand, I'm really trying to keep this simple and down to earth so I'll survive something like this.

I think I'm going to tell him I love him right now.

The postcard above is of the neighbouring town where I grew up.